Meet the In Laws
by KatZen
Summary: Sequel of sorts to Shaking Foundations. It's time for Jeff and his family to meet Virgil's in-laws, in the most unorthodox manner. But a long forgotten secret is revealed. Will there be a wedding after all?
1. The Weakest Link

**Disclaimer: see chapter one... wait a minute, this is chapter one. In that case, none of the Thunderbirds or any of its affiliates belongs to me. They are the property of Gerry Anderson. Any other characters in the story do belong to me, as they are the product of my hyperactive imagination in overdrive. Also, 'The Weakest Link' and any of its affiliates does not belong to me either.**

**AN: Oh, a short story this time. Three chapters at the most. As promised, this is the story when Jeff meets Gus' parents in the most unorthodox way. I'm going to skip a few rounds; otherwise the chapter will drag out a bit. Hope you don't mind. **

Chapter One- The Weakest Link

Virgil walked into the kitchen in Gus' apartment, after doing some last minute wedding organization. He smiled at his fiancée, picked up a knife and began to slice some bread.

"Virgil," Gus sat down on a counter, her head buried in a newspaper. "Put the knife down."

Virgil stopped sawing through the loaf of bread.

"Now remove your shoelaces, your belt and any other sharp objects you have and give them to me."

Virgil eyed her suspiciously. "Why?"

"Just do it!" Gus held Virgil's bread knife, belt, watch and shoes ransom. "It's for your own safety. My mother's coming over. She wants to show us her holiday photos."

Virgil felt all his muscles tauten in his body. Clenching his jaw, he replied, "That's great! I cannot wait to see her again. I love her like Scott loves his own in laws."

Gus rolled her brown eyes disbelievingly and scoffed. "Please; Scott doesn't even like his in laws. Don't pull that with me."

"Well, I think I'll get some..." Virgil paused, glancing to the back door, leading to the fire exit. "Frozen yoghurt from the freezer outside."

"That door is locked, by the way."

Virgil walked away.

"So is the front."

Trying to find a way out of his predicament, Virgil dug deep into his pockets.

"I have both sets of keys."

Virgil's eyes lingered over his last method of escape; the window.

"The windows that don't have bars are locked too."

Virgil was trapped, and he knew it. Dejectedly, he sank to the floor on his knees. "Why," he howled. "Why must you cage me in like some animal?"

* * *

Virgil slouched on the sofa in the living room, his eyes travelled longingly to the locked door. This was his seventh level of hell and he hated it. No, hated was too mild a word. He loathed it, he despised it, he detested every moment wasted sitting on that sofa.

Gus sat next to Virgil; one hand jangling keys teasingly in front of his eyes, the other one holding photos. "Yes Mother, you can never have too many photos of the same beach, can you?" She sounded positively bored.

"And here's one of me and Brad on the beach at sunset." Grace, Gus' mother handed her the photo. "We'd go down in our bathing costumes and have the entire beach to ourselves."

Honey burnt eyes scanned the photo. "Really," Virgil muttered under his breath sarcastically. "Can't imagine why."

"Here's one of us getting married," Grace shifted that photo to the back of her pile. "And then we're back to the beginning."

"Wait, wait, wait; let me see that last photo!" Gus ordered. She snatched the photo out of her mother's hand and stared at it. "You got married?! Again?! What is this, your fourth husband in three years?"

"Actually, it's two years. But who's counting?"

"I can't believe it!" Gus stammered. "You got married and you didn't invite us?!"

"And for that," Virgil muttered once again. "We are eternally grateful."

"You know Gus, sometimes I find it hard to tell you things! You have a tendency to overreact!"

"I do not," Gus yelled as she stood up, and crossed her arms. She paused, and composed herself before sitting down, and continuing calmly. "Overreact."

Seeing an opportunity to escape, Virgil seized it with both hands. "Well, if you'll excuse me," he said to no-one in particular. "I have to... not be here." Since no-one was going to stop him, Virgil jumped off the sofa, and scampered to the door, as fast as his legs would carry him. As he entered the hallway, he bumped into Mike. "Don't go in there," he warned. "Your mother and sister are about to have a fight. I'm getting out of here while I can."

"Thanks for the heads up, Virg, but I have to go in there. Let's hope I come back with all my limbs." With a deep breath, Mike launched himself into the living room. "They called. The Tracys and us are going to be on a family edition of The Weakest Link. I did tell you about it."

"You see Mother! That's what we do in this family; we tell each other things." Gus grabbed her brother by the elbow and led him out of their mother's earshot. "When did you tell me about it?"

"Three months ago, when I sent off the forms."

Gus' eyebrows knitted together. "I don't remember signing anything."

"I sort of forged both your signatures. I sent the other forms off to Virgil and he and his brothers signed them. I can forge them perfectly, you know."

"Even Mum's?"

"Since I was ten." Mike shrugged, as though it was no big deal.

"Could you teach me?"

"Anyway, there's one slight problem. Alan called. He said he wouldn't be able to come since Leroy has a stomach bug. So, we're one short."

"That's not a problem. Mother's gone off and gotten married. Again!" Gus reassured him sourly.

"So, will he do it?"

"Oh, Mother's latest conquest will do anything," Gus replied still sour. "Haven't you seen the photos?"

* * *

Virgil sat in the safety of a restaurant, thanking his lucky stars he managed to get out of Gus' apartment and her mother while he still could. He looked up as a shadow fell over his table. "Thanks for coming."

"I said I would. How's the wedding stuff coming on?"

Virgil sighed and raked his fingers through his hair. "The actual wedding stuff is going fine. The in-laws, however..." He trailed off; leaving the rest deliberately unsaid and took a bite out of his burger.

"Come on Virg, they can't be that bad." Scott consoled, unstrapping himself from the Snugli he had and held his three month old son in his arms. "We've met her brothers; they seem alright."

"Yeah, Mike and Adam are fine. It's just my future mother in law. She takes some perverse pleasure in torturing me!"

"I can't say I sympathise; sorry Virgil." Scott shifted Luke into the crook of his elbow and snagged some fries from Virgil's plate.

"But Charlene hates you!" Virgil stammered out in disbelief. "And that was my chip you stole!"

"All's fair in love, war and the rules of brotherhood. That includes stealing chips." To prove his point, Scott snaffled another two fries and fed one to Mel. "And I can't sympathise because as far as Tash is concerned, she has no mother. Therefore, I have no in-law. Hey, did you find out when we have to go for that game show thing?"

"Today. In two hours. Want to talk tactics?"

"Sorry Virg. I've already got my tactics sorted out with someone."

"Who?" Virgil demanded.

"I'm not telling!" Scott cuffed his younger brother on the head. "What kind of idiot do you take me for?"

* * *

"Welcome... to The Weakest Link." Music trilled around the studio. "Any of these nine contestants have the chance of winning ten thousand pounds for their selected charity. If they want this money, they will have to work together. However, eight of them will leave with nothing, as round by round; we eliminate one contestant, voted off as the weakest link." The game show host, Anne Robinson, clad in black turned around and eyed the nine of them beadily. "Let's meet the team."

"I'm Jeff Tracy, I'm fifty four and I'm a CEO."

"I'm Gordon Tracy, I'm twenty three and I'm not too old to be adopted."

"Hi, I'm John Tracy, I'm twenty six and I'm an astronomer."

"I'm Scott Tracy, I'm twenty seven and I'm a pilot."

"I'm Virgil Tracy, I'm twenty five and I'm an aerospace engineer."

"I'm Gus Harte, I'm twenty five, and I'm a physiotherapist."

"I'm Mike Harte, I'm twenty nine and I'm an interior designer."

"I'm Grace Harte, I'm fifty one and I'm an independent film director."

"I'm Brad Spencer, I'm fifty three and I'm a scientific inventor."

Music trilled around the studio again, and eighteen eyes focused on Anne.

"You have two and a half minutes to answer as many questions correctly as you can. The higher the chain, the more money you'll win. Get the question wrong, and you break the chain. If you say bank before I read a question, the money you've accumulated is safe, but you will start a new chain from scratch." Anne explained. "We'll start with the person whose name comes first alphabetically; that's you Brad. Let's play The Weakest Link. Start the clock. Brad,"

Brad jumped out of the daydream he was in. "Blimey."

"A television set which cannot broadcast shows in colour is known as black and what?"

Still slightly out of it, Brad answered without thinking. "Decker."

"The correct answer is white. Jeff, a contest in which two teams pull on a rope is known as a tug of...?"

"War."

"Correct. Gordon, what is one hundred and fifty eight minus eighty four?"

Gordon shivered inwardly. Maths. Why did his question have to be maths? He screwed up his face in concentration, willing himself to not make a mistake. "Seventy four, Anne."

"Correct. John, which character in Harry Potter also shares his name with a star?"

John grinned, confident he had it right. "Sirius."

"Correct. Scott, in cooking,"

"Bank," John hissed. "Bank, Scott! Don't lose the money I've just won! You know nothing about cooking!"

"What is the main ingredient in a risotto; pasta or rice?"

Scott thought for a moment. "Rice."

"Correct."

* * *

"At the end of round one, you only managed to bank a measly seven hundred and fifty pounds." Anne sneered. "Which village is missing its idiot? It's time to vote off the weakest link."

There was an agonizing silence, as pens scribbled over boards and prying eyes skitted over their neighbours' board.

"Voting over; it's time to reveal who you think is the weakest link."

Nine pairs of arms outstretched and nine boards flipped over in turn, revealing their vote.

"Jeff, why did you vote for Mike?" Anne looked him up and down, measuring him up.

"He got some questions wrong and he failed to bank at the appropriate moment, losing a great deal of money. I thought he was the weakest link."

Anne swivelled her question pad and looked at Mike. "Mike, you volunteered everyone on this show. Why?"

"Well, I've recorded every episode of The Weakest Link. Then I transcribed every question, sub dividing them into categories. From that, and Virgil's help, I figured that the only three people who had a higher than eighty percent chance of beating me were John, Scott and Virgil."

Anne shook her head slightly. "You don't have a girlfriend, do you?"

Mike bowed his head slightly. "No, Anne."

Anne turned again and gave a rare smile. "Scott, you're a bit of a dish, aren't you?"

Scott could feel a blush creeping up his cheek.

"What about you; have you got a girlfriend?"

"No Anne."

There was a collective gasp from the female members of the audience.

"My wife wouldn't be too pleased if I said I had one."

And then there was a collective groan.

"Why Mike?"

"I had to get rid of someone. Sorry dude; it had to be you."

"John, you're not that bad either. Have you got a girl?"

"No, but thank you for offering, Anne. However, I do not think I've quite reached the level of maturity to fully meet and justify your needs as a woman."

Anne smiled again, the edges to her sharp face softening. "Oh, I don't think so John. Tidy yourself up and keep your mouth shut, and who knows? Why Mike?"

John squared his shoulders, and wriggled a bit. "I sort of promised my brothers that I wouldn't vote any of them off in the first round." John looked at Mike. "Sorry man. No hard feelings, yeah?"

"Mike, you are the weakest link. Goodbye."

* * *

There were ten seconds left on the timer before the end of the round.

"Gus, in the legal profession, who can be called to the bar?"

"Besides my mother? A barrister."

Gus' answer slipped in before the end of round music blared out.

"That is the correct answer, and you were inside the time limit. At the end of round four, you banked a pathetic three hundred pounds. You had a chain of twelve correct answers, meaning you could have reached your thousand pound target!" Anne stood still; the expression on her face could have been carved in stone. "Does our physio need stretching out?"

Gus' jaw dropped in indignation.

"Does our scientist need a new brain?"

Brad drew in a deep breath.

"It's time to vote off the weakest link."

John shot a sly look at Scott's board, and Scott leaned ever so slightly to the right, peering at John's board. A slight nod was shared between the two brothers.

"Voting over; it's time to reveal who you think is the weakest link." Anne moved quickly, as each person revealed their vote. "Virgil, why are you voting off your future mother in law?"

"She voted for me before. Just returning the favour."

"Gus, why did you vote for Brad?"

"Because," Gus sighed, with the air of long-suffering. "It doesn't matter if I got rid of one of my mother's husbands. There's always another one to take his place."

"You're a fine one to talk!" Grace retorted quietly.

Anne and her question pad swirled around. "Did you say something Grace?"

"I-I-I.... No. My daughter's led a perfect life. She's just made some bad decisions. I'm not just talking about agreeing to marry Virgil."

"Oh really?"

"I have no idea of what you're talking about, Mother."

"Las Vegas? On your gap year?" Grace prompted.

Gus laughed nervously. "Can we move on please?"

"No, no. I sense tension! What happened in Vegas, Gus?"

"I don't remember." Gus replied quickly. Too quickly.

"Grace, can you help us out?"

"Mother!"

"You wanted us to be a family that told each other things!"

"Mother, be quiet! Brad, you are the weakest link, goodbye!" Gus garbled, hoping her mother wouldn't say anymore.

"That's my line!" Anne snapped at Gus. "Brad. You are the weakest link. Goodbye."

* * *

It was the end of round five, and all the votes had been revealed.

"So, Grace," Anne began. "What did Gus do in Vegas?"

"She had a quickie marriage!"

"What?!" Virgil spluttered out.

"His name was Troy! Troy the Punisher!" Grace relished in telling the tale.

"Was he a physio too?" Scott asked, amusement twinkling in his eyes.

Grace rubbed her hands gleefully. "He was a wrestler!"

Gus launched herself off her platform and charged at her mother. Luckily for Grace, Virgil caught her before she could do any harm.

"Grace, you are the weakest link. Goodbye."

"You married a wrestler?!" Virgil hissed as Grace walked out of the studio.

"Round six; and another ten seconds are coming off the clock." Anne interrupted. "We'll start with the strongest link from the last round; that's Virgil. Let's play The Weakest Link. Virgil, which world famous director made movies such as Saving Private Ryan and Jurassic Park?"

"A wrestler called Troy!"

"Steven Spielberg. Gus, in one of Shakespeare's play, the opening lines are if music be the food of love..."

"It was Las Vegas! I was drunk!" Gus hissed back at Virgil.

"The correct answer is play on."

* * *

Round six was drawing to a close.

"Virgil, in the long running series Doctor Who, the voice of the Daleks are created using a ring what?"

'If Virgil gets this right, and Gus banks," Scott thought to himself. 'We'll have a chain of nine correct answers, meaning we'll reach our target.'

Virgil fidgeted and shook his head.

"Modulator." Scott whispered out of the corner of his mouth.

"Modulator, Anne." Virgil answered confidently, and was cut by Gus banking and the music indicating the end of the round.

Anne glared daggers at Scott. "Did you help him?!" She placed her hands on her hips, hoping to intimidate him.

"No." Scott tried, and failed to sound innocent and appear guilt free.

"Hmph! At the end of that round, you managed to reach and bank your target money. However, is our astronomer's stars fizzling out?"

John yawned pointedly.

"Is our pilot crashing and burning in murky waters?"

Scott rolled his eyes, as though that insult had no effect on him.

"It's time to vote off the weakest link."

John and Scott shot each other knowing looks, and smiled.

"Voting over; it's time to reveal who you think is the weakest link."

John flipped his board. "Gus."

Scott flipped his board. "Gus."

Virgil exhaled deeply and snarled out his vote. "Gus."

Blinking like a frightened rabbit, Gus flipped her board. "Virgil."

"So, Virgil, why are you voting off your fiancée?"

"Why?" Virgil retorted incredulously. "Well, she got the question on the periodic table wrong," Virgil started to mumble angrily. "And she married another man!"

"Gus, why Virgil?"

"He got a few questions wrong." Gus replied in monotone, keeping her eye contact to a minimum.

"No, no," Anne rephrased. "Why are you marrying Virgil? And what happened to Troy?"

"You know what? I don't think that's any of your business!"

"Well, I think it's mine, so _what happened?_" Virgil spat out through gritted teeth.

"Never mind." Anne dismissed. "Scott, why are you getting rid of your future sister-in-law?"

Scott glanced sideways at the muderous looks Virgil was shooting at Gus before dryly responding. "I thought I'd give her a head start."

"John, charming John. Why are you getting rid of Gus?"

"She failed to answer some questions and I felt she was the weakest link."

"So, it has nothing to do with her seedy past?"

"I'm not one to judge, even though others might consider it a tad, well," John coughed delicately and trailed off.

"Gus, you are the weakest link. Goodbye!"

Gus hurried out of the studio, avoiding Virgil's wrath. Virgil jumped off his podium to follow her. "I'll just be two minutes. Gus? Gus! We need to talk!"

Gus ran out of the studio, and through the labyrinth of corridors, hoping to lose Virgil. Virgil stuck to her like glue, though, until he was stopped by a figure with a headset.

"Mr. Tracy. You can't run out of the studio in the middle of the show."

"Listen! My upcoming marriage is much more important than your stupid show!" Virgil exploded, unable to reign in his anger.

The producer blinked. "If you don't go back, you will be sued for the full cost of the recording. Also, any money that has been won will not be donated to the winner's charity."

Virgil groaned in frustration, slammed his fist into a wall before turning on his heel and marching back to the studio.

* * *

"It's time to vote off the weakest link."

Virgil leaned over to Scott. "Vote me off Scott. Vote me off or I'll kill Mel and Luke!"

"Voting over; it's time to reveal who you think is the weakest link."

"Virgil."

"Virgil."

"Me."

"Scott, you helped Virgil out in the last round. Why are you voting him off now?"

"Because he threatened to kill my kids if I didn't. I'd like to see him try, though."

"John, why are you voting off Virgil?"

"Because he was the worst player and his mind has been elsewhere this past round."

"Virgil. You are the weakest link. Goodbye."

Ecstatic, Virgil walked briskly out of the studio, and headed to the room where the contestants went to when they were voted out. The door opened, and he found himself face to face with his fiancée. "Hello Gus. Remember me? I'm going to be _one _of your husbands." He brushed past her and stood in the centre of the room. "You know, I've only made some minor achievements in the past, but the one thing I regret is that I've never done them wearing tights and a big belt!"

"Troy never wore a big belt." Gus corrected.

"Oh, you've got fond memories of him, haven't you?"

Fed up, Gus grabbed Virgil by the elbow and dragged him outside. "Listen! It was Las Vegas!"

"Oh, sure," Virgil scoffed. "We were all gambling our savings away, wearing flowers in our hair and marrying wrestlers."

"It was a one day marriage!" Gus cried out, exasperated. "We got married as a joke! It was a chapel that also served fried chicken, by the way. We had it annulled the next day."

"How could you not tell me you had been married?" Virgil raked a hand through his hair.

"I guess it was something I just forgot about." Gus admitted.

"You forget about it? Gus, we're getting married at York Street Church! What does that make us, then? What does that make us?"

Gus narrowed her eyes in suspicion. "Are you sure I've never told you?"

"I think I would have remembered."

"I wanted to tell you," Gus revealed. "But when I met you, you were so wonderful. I didn't want to spoil a good thing."

Virgil smiled slightly and raised an eyebrow. "Go on."

"You were so handsome, exciting, charming, witty..."

"And?" Virgil prompted.

"Intelligent, handsome-"

"Mmm, you've done handsome before."

"Good looking?" Gus tried.

"Like handsome, only not as strong."

"I'm not a thesaurus Virgil." Gus snapped.

* * *

"Virgil, you ready to go?" Scott sat down next to his brother. The Weakest Link had finished, and Virgil was just siting idly on a couch

"Go? Where are we going?"

"Oh, that's a good one, Virg." Scott laughed. "Your bachelor party. Last two nights of freedom, you remember that tradition now?"

"You never had one." Virgil pointed out.

"I proposed and got married within twenty four hours. There wasn't much time for a party. So, you ready to go?"

"Scott, there's no point in having a bachelor party. I'm not even sure if there's going to be a wedding."

**AN: Please review.**


	2. Tattoo Tonight

**Disclaimer: see chapter one**

**AN: Err... who am I- my bid is twenty cyber cents for Gordy. Any other takers? No? He's mine, then! ALL MINE! MWAHAHAHA! But I'm willing to share.**

**The show really does exist, but I just borrowed the UK version of the show instead of the Australian one because it worked better that way. And yep, they are the family that put the fun back into dysfunctional. **

**Josie- you hated the ending? I can't have that! Time to make things right, I guess.**

Chapter Two- Tattoo Tonight

"What?"

"You heard me, Scott. Virgil leapt off the sofa and headed to stare glumly out of an open window. "I don't think there's going to be a wedding anymore."

"If this is about Gus marrying another man, I'll tell you something for nothing."

"Yeah? What's that?"

"You're being stupid. You are behaving like a child! Think; it could have been worse."

"I don't believe this! I thought you'd understand! I thought you'd be on my side!" Virgil slammed the window shut. "She married another man! And she didn't tell me! She didn't trust me enough to tell me! What could be worse than that?!"

"Have you talked to her?" Scott asked. "I'm not just talking about a five minute rant session once you found out. I mean did you actually sit down, talk, and listen to what she had to say?"

"No!" Virgil yelled.

"Do that!" Scott yelled back. "And there are a hell of a lot of things worse than being married and having it annulled the next day."

"Name one." Virgil challenged.

"She could be an international fugitive," Scott thought slowly. "On the run from the law."

Virgil tutted. "That is so farfetched, it's ridiculous. My best man is an idiot."

"OK. It is ridiculous." Scott admitted. "But do you see what I mean?"

"Yeah, I guess. Scott, can I ask you some things?"

"Fire away."

"Is it normal to fight over every single thing? Even over trivial things?"

"Absolutely. The more trivial they are, the easier it is to fight about."

"What was the last time you and Tash fought?"

"This morning. Before you ask, it was over a tube of toothpaste."

Virgil chuckled. "That is trivial. Let me guess, she was annoyed at you because you leave the cap off the tube all the time?"

"Well, she squeezes from the middle of the tube instead of the end." Scott retorted.

"Next question; did Tash ever keep anything from you? Like major things such as a previous marriage?"

Scott rolled his eyes. "You're still not going on about that, are you? Listen, what Tash tried to keep from me was a lot worse than what Gus kept from you."

Instinctively, Virgil leaned in, and Scott began to whisper.

"You're kidding!" Virgil's eyes were as wide as saucers.

"I jest you not."

"But weren't you angry when you found out?"

"No!" Scott lied. "Of course I wasn't angry."

Virgil's look clearly stated 'humour me.'

"Fine. I was angry." Scott confessed. "Just a teeny, tiny bit angry."

"Just a bit angry?" Virgil echoed incredulously. "She worked in a –"

"Don't say it!" Scott cut him off. "The walls have ears and the tabloids would love information like that. But do you see what I'm saying? You'll be able to work through it."

"I guess. I mean, if you and Tash could do it, so can we."

"So, you ready to have that talk with Gus now?"

* * *

Virgil raised his hand and placed it over brass doorbell and lowered it again. "Scott, what if everything screws up with this talk?"

"Virg, no marriage is perfect. If it was, do you think the rate of divorce would be so high? Every relationship has their issues. You can be a coward and walk away from them, or you can be the brave man I know you are, and you can work through them together." Scott held up his hands and walked backwards. "I'll tell you this for nothing too. I think if you let Gus go, you'll be making the biggest mistake of your life. It's your call, Virgil."

Taking a deep breath, Virgil knocked on the door.

* * *

"I can't believe Grace did that!" Jeff fumed to his second eldest son, pacing like a lion trapped in a cage. "What kind of a person says that on national television?!"

"I don't know, Dad. But Virgil's pretty torn up over it."

"And can you blame him?"

"Well," John stalled, playing for time. "If it were me, I'd be angry too, but then I'd move on and get over it."

"You're forgiving, John." Jeff pointed out. "Virgil tends to hold grudges."

"That's true." John shrugged, and flopped backwards into a chair.

"This is a mess. I came all the way to the UK to see one of my sons get married, and that has been placed in jeopardy, thanks to her!" Jeff was still pacing and ranting relentlessly. "Can you believe I have to have dinner with her and her ex-husband tonight in order to get to know them better? How am I meant to remain civil knowing she has probably screwed up Virgil's one chance of happiness?"

"You do what you do best, Dad. You plaster that fake charming smile on your face while seething and bottling up your true emotions. You behave like a gentleman in order to prevent yourself from behaving like an insolent teenager. You let them see what you want them to see, not how you feel."

Jeff cocked his head to the side. "Where did I get you from, John?"

"Amazon?"

"No. That was Gordon, and they wouldn't take him back."

"Who could blame them?" John sniggered. "Who'd want him?"

"Hey, stop teasing your brother!" Jeff cuffed his blond son lightly. "You should know better than that." He sighed. "I really hope Virgil doesn't hold a grudge this time."

"Relax, Dad. Virgil's a smart man. He'll make the choice that is right for him."

* * *

Virgil stood up hastily. "I'd better go."

"Yeah, you probably should." Gus replied as she showed him to the door. "I know you have things to do." She waited until Virgil had gone before closing the door.

Out on the street, Virgil pulled out his phone. "Scott, it's me. The bachelor party is on."

John glanced down at his watch. "Scott, time to fly. We're running behind on schedule."

"Yeah. We just needed him to relax and loosen up a bit." Scott cocked his head to the left. "Do you think he knows what's in store for him?"

"No. We can't tell him. Even if we wanted to, we can't." John pointed out. "You're not driving there; you'll speed, break red lights, run over furry animals, possibly hit stationary objects, maybe even people and lose your licence, considering the amount of points you have."

"Had." Scott corrected. "Some points have disappeared. That's why I drive now. Hey, what do you think the girls are doing now?"

* * *

"I'll see your five, and raise you five." A handful of chips were tossed onto a mountain of chips in the centre of the table.

Some cards were thrown in the pile. "I'm out."

The two remaining contestants in the poker game stared at each other, locked in a Mexican standoff, their facial expressions not giving anything away.

Tin-Tin placed her cards on the table. "Four of a kind."

Gus threw her cards down. "Royal Flush. Read 'em and weep." She scooped her winnings towards her.

"Gus, how do you do it?" Tash asked, as she dealt the cards again.

"How do I do what?"

"Win. That's your third win in a row. A hat trick."

Gus shrugged, not wanting to share her secret. "Just lucky, I suppose. Hey, what do you think the boys are doing right now?"

* * *

The car pulled to a stop and Alan released his seatbelt. He leaned towards the windscreen, and looked at his brother. "John, where are we?"

"122 Elm Street." John pulled the handbrake up.

"Right. What exactly are we doing here?" Gordon asked, staring out of his window into the darkness.

Scott shrugged. "Ask Mike."

Four heads swivelled towards a neon sign, flickering in the distance.

"A tattoo parlour?" Gordon raised his eyebrows, a grin etched onto his face aimed at Virgil.

"Let the nightmare begin." Mike muttered sadistically, with a Hood-like chuckle.

"A tattoo parlour?" Virgil parroted. "Are you guys mad? You can get diseases and infections from these places!"

"Don't complain, Virgil. At least you're getting it done the proper way. My second tattoo was done by using a Bic pen and a cigarette lighter." Scott replied tersely, as he climbed out of the car.

"Jailbird?" Mike asked lightly.

"Prisoner of War, actually. Can we please change the subject?"

"Second tattoo?" John seized on that new piece of information the same way a kitten would cling onto a ball of string. "How come we've only ever seen one, then?"

"Yeah, well, the other one is in a place I don't generally display to the public." John opened his mouth to protest, but Scott continued. "Or my brothers. Now, are we just going to stand here all day?"

* * *

Jeff sank into his chair, wishing he and his major headache could disappear into thin air. The dinner with Grace and the second ex-husband was mimicking Titanic's voyage through the ocean; calm and smoothly, until they hit the iceberg, which had been struck, precisely two hours ago. If Jeff sat there for an extra seventeen minutes, he would surely be a dead man in the water.

However, there was a silver lining in a dark cloud. Jeff had found an ally; the ex-husband, Roger, hated Grace's tact, or lack of, almost as much as he did. And unlike Jeff, he had no qualms about expressing his hate.

"Why couldn't you have just kept your mouth shut?!" Roger spat out venomously. "Announcing it on national television? What were you thinking?! Oh, but of course, you weren't!"

"I didn't know that Virgil didn't know!" Grace defended herself. "I wouldn't have dreamed of saying about her past! Mind you, I am a bit of a loose cannon after drinking three screwdrivers."

"I'll say," Roger agreed, and Jeff nodded wholeheartedly. "Who encouraged her to get married at nineteen in the first place?"

Grace gasped, affronted. "I did no such thing!"

"How many husbands did you parade around her after you left me?! How many did you parade around the three of them after you left me?!"

Jeff winced; his major headache was turning into a killer migraine. He had to get out of the restaurant, and fast. His leg twitched involuntarily, and he could feel the outline of his Blackberry through his pant pocket. A sudden idea flashed into his mind.

Ever so subtly, he slid a hand into his pocket, and pressed a few buttons. He waited patiently for the familiar drone of his ringtone to blare out. "Do excuse me for a moment," he said, to no-one in particular. Chair scraping on the floor, Jeff stood up, and wandered over to a corner. He nodded, and hmmed in various places, grinning inwardly.

With fake sincerity plastered on his face, Jeff began to stammer out his excuse for leaving. "I'm terribly sorry. There's been an incident. It's unavoidable. I really do have to go." He shrugged into his suit jacket. "It was a pleasure meeting you, and I'll see you on the big day."

Before anyone could protest, Jeff snaked out of the fancy glass double doors and into the crisp cool air of the night.

'The old unavoidable incident,' he mused. 'Every time, works like a charm.'

* * *

Virgil stood in the lobby of the parlour, hands on hips, furious scowl carved into his face. "If I have to get this tattoo," he muttered furiously. "Then I think my best man, and the imbecile who suggested this, should also get one too!"

"I'm allergic to the ink." Mike smiled, self satisfied. "So, unless you want to spend the rest of the evening in hospital, I wouldn't even sit in the tattooist chair."

"Scott?" Virgil appealed.

"I already have two. Don't you think there's a limit?"

"Please?"

"No."

"Does it hurt?"

"Not at all. Well, not for me, anyway."

"Please, Scott?"

"I told you no."

"Please, please, please, please, pleeeease?"

Scott's crystal blue eyes flicked up from the magazine he was reading. "If I say yes, will you stop bugging me?"

"Of course." Virgil promised, optimism shining in his eyes.

"The answer's still no."

"Please, Scott? Please, please, pretty please?" Virgil grabbed Scott's arm, and held onto it for dear life.

"If I say yes, will you stop being a limpet on my arm?"

"Duh!"

Scott sighed deeply. "Fine. I'll get one done. A SMALL one. Not a big one. Don't see why you couldn't have asked one of the brats instead, though."

"Well," Virgil explained patiently. "One brat is dozing away in a chair, and the other one is chatting up a girl whose skirt rarely leaves things to the imagination."

"So you came to me instead." Scott surmised neatly. "Do you know what you're getting yet?"

* * *

A few hours later, Virgil and Scott emerged from the room.

"For God's sake, Virgil," Scott laughed. "Walk normally. You look like you have an insect up your anus."

"It's bug up my ass, Scott." Virgil snapped, rubbing his derrière gingerly. "If you're going to insult me, get it right! And you lied to me!"

"What?! When?"

"You told me it wouldn't hurt!" Virgil cried out.

"And it doesn't." Scott countered.

"This is coming from the guy who laughed when he had a tooth extraction. Without anaesthesia!"

"It's not my fault you don't have a high pain tolerance."

"You know, I won't be able to sit down for a week!" Virgil hissed, as a bit of pain darted up his nerves.

"Oh, you'll be able to sit down. Just rather uncomfortably." Scott reassured. "Did you like it?"

"It looked OK in the catalogue." Virgil admitted, as they regrouped with the rest of the troop.

Alan woke up from his slumber and slung his arm around Virgil. "Can I see?"

"No!"

"What did he get?" John asked Scott.

"He got a shooting star," Scott replied absent-mindedly, while peeling back his bandage to have a look at his latest tattoo. "But because he wriggled around so much, it looks like a flower now. He was also meant to have writing in the star, but now it looks like pollen."

"Aww, ickle Virgy has a plant on his posterior," Gordon cooed. "What did you get, Scott?" He peered at his eldest brother. "Nice. Very macho. Much better than a sissy flower."

"I know." Scott agreed. "I told Virgil to get this, but he didn't want it, so I took it instead."

"Let's see," Alan and John both gathered round Scott. "Interesting. A wolf, howling at the moon. We're with Gordy on this; much better than a flower. It matches the one branded on your shoulder to perfection. Not too sure if it matches the other one since we've never seen it before."

"You know what you need now, Virgil?" Mike said.

"No. One tattoo is bad enough. I'm not getting anything else."

"You need a piercing. A piercing for every tattoo you have." Mike continued, as though Virgil hadn't spoken. "You too, Scott."

Both brothers looked at each other; horrified. "Hell, no!"

"Why not?" Mike looked like Christmas had been cancelled. "I'll even get one with you," he added, as extra incentive.

"No! I draw the line at piercings!"

"Scott?" Mike appealed; ignoring the sniggers and fits of giggles the other Tracys were in.

"No! If you want a piercing so badly, get one yourself!"

"Gee," Mike grumbled as they walked (well, in all honesty, Virgil hobbled) back to the car. "You guys are no fun. Where's your sense of adventure?"

* * *

Jeff shut the door to his room, slung his suit jacket over a chair, loosened his tie and collapsed onto his bed, burying his head into a fluffy pillow. 'Salvation has never smelt so good! At least my headache's subsiding now.'

He rolled over, and his eyes trained on the digital clock, illuminating the room in a green glow. 'It's that late?! Well, I hope the boys are wrapping up their bachelor party. Tomorrow's a big day for Virgil.'

* * *

John revved the engine and pulled out of the parking spot.

"Where are we going now, John?" Gordon mumbled sleepily, nearly drooling into Alan's shoulder. Alan's head was

"To get some shut-eye. It's a long drive back, so if we leave now, we'll be back before two o' clock in the morning."

"Scott, my ass is BURNING right now!" Virgil whimpered.

"Stop whingeing," Scott drawled. "It'll settle down in a few hours. Jeez, if I could handle three tattoos without complaining, you should be able to handle one."

"Well, excuse me, but I'm not you!" Virgil crossed his arms over his chest in a sulk.

"I can see that." Scott rolled over in his seat. "John, wake me up when you want to swap. You need some sleep as well."

"Sure thing, Scott." John yawned, as he joined a motorway and sped off.

* * *

Gus stood outside the door to her flat with her future sister-in-laws. They had seen off the other attendants at her bachelorette party, and they quickly sought refuge of her apartment from the bitterly cold wind.

"It's tomorrow. I can't believe its tomorrow." She leaned back, using the door as a support. "What am I doing? I'm not cut out for marriage! What if I'm useless at it?" She sank dejectedly to the floor.

Tin-Tin and Tash were immediately at her side. "You won't be useless at it." Tash comforted.

"It sounds like you have a small case of cold feet." Tin-Tin murmured, while hauling Gus to her feet. "Let's get you inside."

"But how can I have cold feet? I love Virgil! I'm crazy about him!"

"I'm not saying you don't love him." Tin-Tin agreed. "I love Alan, but that didn't mean I didn't get knots in my stomach the moment I said yes. It's perfectly normal."

"So, how'd you get rid of them?" Gus asked.

"You stand together and know it feels right." Tash smiled. "If it doesn't, then something is wrong."

Gus ran a shaky hand through her blondy-brown hair. "I need a drink."

"No, you don't. What you need," Tin-Tin steered Gus towards the bedroom. "Is to get some beauty sleep for tomorrow."

* * *

Virgil and his troop stumbled into the hotel room they had for the night.

"Scott, my butt won't be hurting by the time I get married, will it?"

"Probably not. You'll be able to sit down by then."

"Good." Virgil yawned. "I'm gonna crash now. Gotta be in good shape for tomorrow. Let's hope nothing goes wrong."

**AN: Please review.**


	3. Troy the Punisher's Comeback

**Disclaimer: see chapter one**

**AN: OK, I know I said there would only be three chapters, but I couldn't resist adding this part in. I gave two different versions of this chapter to my beta, and she suggested that I go with this one. As she said; 'what's a wedding like without a bit of action?' **

**The next chapter will most definitely be the last one for this story. Anyway, on with the chapter.**

Chapter Three- Troy the Punisher's Comeback

"Ssh! You'll wake him."

Five figures loomed over a bed and one hand shoved something in his mouth.

"Guys, are you sure about this?" One uncertain voice rang through the air. "It seems a bit... mean."

"He could sleep through a nuclear meltdown. This is the only way to wake him up; we've tried everything and it didn't work. Best prank in the history of pranks. Camera ready?"

"Check."

"Plugging him now."

Two long fingers pinched the end of the sleeping person's nose. Startled, Virgil's eyelids snapped open and a party squealer flared out from his mouth as he choked on his breath. Angrily, he ripped the squealer out of his mouth. "What the hell was that for?!"

Alan shrugged. "Last resort. Couldn't wake you up by using conventional methods."

"And you have to admit, it was pretty funny." Gordon sniggered.

"Oh, ha ha. That was a barrel of laughs, wasn't it?" Virgil grumbled sarcastically, while rubbing sleepy dust away from his eyes. He squinted in the distance, focusing on the steady red light. "Please tell me you did not record that."

Scott lowered the camera and smiled apologetically.

"Scott!" Virgil was incensed. "You're my best man! You're not supposed to do things like that! I hate you! You're not my brother anymore; you're just some guy I know!"

Scott laughed. "Stop sulking, Virg. You and I both know you don't mean that." He flung the covers off Virgil. "Get your butt out of this bed, and get ready. Come on! Move it!"

* * *

Gus smoothed out the creases in her dress and looked in the mirror.

"Lookin' good, sis."

Gus whirled around, and ran at the form standing in her doorway. "Adam!" She squealed. "How's my favourite flight engineer of a brother?"

"Good. A bit cramped; long flight from Tokyo, but otherwise fine." He extracted himself from her vice like grip. "Gus, I've missed you too, but you need to let go of me. I don't want to ruin your dress."

"It is so good to see you!" She gushed. "How's Alicia?"

"Alicia?" Adam echoed, sounding puzzled.

"Your girlfriend?" Gus prompted. "Although after that speedy recall, it can't be good, can it?"

"We sort of... drifted apart." Adam smiled sadly. "No big loss. You know Hartes and love don't mix well together. So, who were the two gorgeous girls in your living room?"

"They're taken," Gus replied, sounding stern and pursing her lips. "So don't even think about it."

"But, but," Adam whined.

"No!" Gus waited for the message to sink in before continuing. "Are you just going to stand there gawking like an idiot, or are you going to help me get ready?"

* * *

Virgil emerged from his room, looking pretty spry in his tailored black suit. "Hey Scott? Come here for a second. There's something I want to talk to you about."

"Nope. Don't move, Scott." Gordon shook his head adamantly. "You've probably planted a bucket of water on the door in a mad act of revenge for our little wake up call. Forget it Virgil! He's not going to fall for it!"

"Gordon, I would not sink to your level of revenge." Virgil countered with a sigh of long suffering. "Now will you please come, Scott?"

Satisfied, Scott leapt off his chair, and the rest of the party leaned towards the door, which slammed shut.

"I planned on handing these out yesterday, but by the time we came back, we were all ridiculously tired, and I forgot about them." Virgil tossed a box at him, wrapped in colourful paper.

Scott slid a finger under the flap of the wrapping, and peeled off the sticky tape. Tearing the wrapping away, Scott opened the lid of his box, only to find a smaller box inside. And inside that box was another box. And another one. And another one inside that box. "Jeez, this is like a Russian doll of boxes. Why am I doing this?"

"Just open the box, Scott."

Scott obliged, finally reaching the last box, which was the size of a ring box. Curious, he pulled of the lid, and looked into the box. "Wow. I, um, I don't know what to say."

Virgil gave his brother a hug. "That's for being such a brilliant brother and best friend. You've always been there for me, and you'll never know how much it means to me. And now with that," Virgil nodded to the box, "you'll never have to steal mine."

"Right back atcha, buddy."

"Scott, there's something I want to ask you." Virgil stammered out his request. "You don't mind, do you?"

"Virg, it's your wedding. If that's what you want, I'm not going to stop you. You want me to bring him in?"

"Please." Virgil nodded.

Scott opened the door and stood in the doorway. "John, Virgil wants to see you."

Puzzled, John swung himself off the couch, and entered Virgil's room, closing the door behind him. "Is everything OK, Virg?"

"Yeah. I was just wondering if you could do me a huge favour."

"Name it." John was all ears.

"I was wondering if you would also like to be my best man alongside Scott."

John was astounded. "Yeah, sure. I'd be honoured. But why ask now?"

Virgil squirmed. "I just... I have a bad feeling about today. Like something's going to go wrong. I'd really like two brains standing up there with me instead of just one."

* * *

Gus stood outside the limo, fiddling with her nails. Her best friend and maid of honour, Carol, came up behind her. "You ready?"

Gus nearly jumped a mile high. "Don't do that! Don't sneak up on me! And yes, as a matter of fact, I am ready."

Carol opened the door, but Gus still didn't move. "Are you coming?"

Gus hesitated, before climbing into the limo. "I just... I think something's going to go wrong."

* * *

Virgil paced relentlessly up and down the aisle of the church. "She's late. Very, very late." He paled, various scenarios playing in his head. "What if the car she's in was involved in an accident? What if she has cold feet and can't do this?"

"Virgil," Scott soothed. "She's just a bit late. She will be here soon."

Virgil pierced Scott with his gaze. "Have you got the ring?"

"Yes. Stop worrying; take a deep breath and try to relax." Scott steered his little brother back to the front. "John is on the lookout, and he'll let us know when they arrive."

On cue, John appeared. He motioned at them, and scurried up the aisle. "They're here. You ready to do this?"

Virgil nodded enthusiastically. "Hell yeah!"

Hands twisting anxiously behind his back, Virgil turned and faced the aisle, grinning widely as his bride walked slowly and steadily towards him. All his worries washed away the moment he saw her.

"We are gathered here today to witness the union of tow souls in holy matrimony." The officiant's voice projected powerfully through the church. "Before I continue, I have to ask if there is anyone here who can think of any reason why these two people should not be joined in holy matrimony."

There was an echoing silence, which spoke volumes until...

"I do!"

Heads turned in the direction of the voice. A well built man stood up and made his way with purposeful strides to the front of the church.

"Troy?" Gus gasped; eyes wide with shock.

"Glad to see you still remember me," he smarmed. "That surely says something, doesn't it?"

"How did you know about this?"

Troy grinned evilly at Gus, and winked at Grace. "Your charming mother sent me an invite."

"I don't believe this! She's ruining our wedding!" Virgil ground his teeth, and charged at Troy, only to be restrained by his best men. "Why are you holding me back?! I'm gonna pound this guy to a pulp! Now let me go!"

"Are you mad?! The guy's a wrestler! He'd knock you over with one push! We're not letting you get pummelled on your big day!" John replied, panting slightly as he struggled to rein Virgil in.

Gus stared Troy straight in his cold, black eyes. "What do you want." It was a statement, not a question.

"Why, my sweet, you." Troy said fluidly, moving to run his fingers through her hair. "You. I've never forgotten our wedding, and I know you haven't either. Elvis was wonderful, wasn't he? A simple 'I do' from both of us and the deed was done. And now, I want you back. I've missed you so much."

"Well, you can't have her!"

Troy turned around, slowly, menacingly. "Get this through your head, Pretty Boy; this doesn't involve you, so butt out!"

"I'm not going to be part of a ménage a trois! Gus and I are getting married today. You had your turn, and you screwed up! You annulled it the next day!" Virgil continued to struggle from his brothers' grip.

Troy's hackles had been raised. "You just can't leave it alone, can you Pretty Boy?" He sneered, curling his hand into a fist. "I thought I told you to shut up and butt out! I guess I'll just have to teach you how to do that!"

Balanced on his feet, Troy swung his fist towards Virgil. Luckily, Virgil had a good sense of when to duck, and the fist skimmed over his head. Instead of hitting his intended target, Troy's fist connected with Scott's eye socket. A nasty 'crack' whiplashed around the walls.

Scott relinquished his grip and his hand instinctively crept up to his eye. "Get him, Virgil! Smack that moronic bastard!"

Behind them, Gordon and Alan jumped into the fray, trying to drag Troy out of the church while John and Jeff tended to Scott.

"How bad, Scott?"

"I don't know; I don't care. Just let me sock him one!" Scott could feel his hand being pried away from his eye, and he heard John whistle sharply.

"I don't think it's broken, but you'll have a stunner of a bruise as well as a considerable amount of swelling."

"You know you can't through with this." Troy shook Gordon and Alan off his arms. "I won't let you go through with this. Even if you carry on with the wedding, you know it's wrong. I will always be there to ruin things for you, just like you did for me, Gus."

"No, you won't," Gus contradicted, nearly in tears as she pulled the veil out of her hair and walked towards the door. "This wedding is off!"

* * *

With an expression of doom-and-gloom plastered on his face, Virgil sank heavily onto a stool in front of a bar.

"What'll it be?"

"Just a pint." Virgil unknotted his tie.

"Rough day?" The bartender asked, as he wiped a glass clean.

"You could say that."

"What happened?"

"My fiancée's ex turned up at the wedding. He gave my best man a black eye and a cut eyebrow as a wedding present. The long of the short of it is my fiancée couldn't cope and she left me standing at the altar."

"Ouch. Tough break, man." He slid a bowl towards Virgil. "Peanuts?"

Virgil shook his head. "No thanks. Me and my beer will just sit here and wallow in my self-made hell."

The bartender shrugged. "Suit yourself."

In melancholy silence, Virgil downed his drink through slow sips.

"Thought we'd find you here." Two forms sat beside Virgil, sandwiching him between them.

"Sorry about your eye, Scott. I shouldn't have ducked." Virgil flicked a glance at his oldest brother.

"It's OK," Scott dismissed with a shrug of his shoulder. "Stuff happens. You probably want to know why we're here."

Virgil shot him a look; Scott was clearly stating the obvious.

"Well," John continued, "I've had a great idea."

**AN: Please review. **


	4. Married by One, Extended by Many

**Disclaimer: see chapter one. **

**AN: OK, this is definitely the last chapter for this story. Hope you enjoy. You may need a tissue for this; my beta did. I really don't know why.**

Chapter Four- Married by One, Extended by Many

Gus sniffed again. "I'm sorry; I should've been able to stop crying ages ago. I've probably gone through four tissue boxes and blown holes in my brothers' hankies."

"No matter," Mike consoled, his arm wrapped around her comfortingly. "You were entitled to cry like hell after that. It was a pretty low thing for TMD to do."

"TMD?" Tin-Tin raised an eyebrow. "What does that mean?"

"Tyrannical mothering despot." Adam replied without missing a beat.

"I see." Something heavy had fallen into Tin-Tin's lap, and she instinctively looked down. "A newspaper?"

"Guess what our husbands did last night." Tash sat down next to Tin-Tin. "Take a look at the front page."

Tin-Tin's jaw dropped as she scanned the article. "I don't believe this!"

Gus sniffed once again, and leaned over. "Oh, they didn't! Not for their bachelor party."

"They did." Tash reconfirmed grimly.

Gus dissolved into tears. "All I wanted was a perfect wedding! I don't even know why I'm relating a tattoo to a wedding," she wailed, "but all I ever wanted was a perfect wedding! That's not ever going to happen now, is it? And it's all because of a silly mistake I made six years ago! I hate her! I never want to see her or hear from her again!"

Adam, Mike, Tash and Tin-Tin all shot each other furtive glances. Yep, the plan they'd concocted with the others would certainly be appreciated by Gus.

* * *

"Do tell, John."

"Well, I thought you and Gus could have a smaller ceremony in the evening." John looked relatively pleased with himself.

"No. You heard Troy. He'll always be there. Always there to destroy things." Virgil muttered gloomily, and signalled the bartender to refill his glass. "Now I understand why they call him the 'punisher'."

"But that's the beauty of John's plan!" Scott enthused. "Troy can't ruin it, because he won't be there because _he won't know!_"

"What do you mean, he won't know? He'll find out." Virgil sipped at his drink.

"No, he won't," Scott countered. "Trust me on this."

"Who were the most important people invited to the wedding?" John asked, whipping out a pen and pad.

"Well, for me, you guys, obviously, Dad, Lady P and Parker. For Gus it was her family; uncles, aunts, cousins, brothers, dad, and some of her friends. I don't think her mother would be welcome now. About seventy vital, essential people." Virgil probed John with his eyes. "Why did you want to know?"

"So I know who to call."

Virgil spluttered indignantly. "Were you not listening to what I just said?"

"No. You see, John has a plan."

"A very, very good plan, if I do say so myself," John smirked. "I talked it over with Adam, Mike, Gordon, Alan, Gordon, Tash, Tin, Dad and Mr. Harte, and they've all agreed to help out. Alan and Gordon are organizing a different venue, setting up the seating arrangements, choosing flowers, that sort of thing, while Dad and Mr. Harte are letting Grace know she won't be invited. The others are trying to keep Gus from finding out. It's going to be a surprise for her. The whole wedding's being organized by us, so you won't have to worry about a thing."

Virgil was still sceptical. "What about Troy? Where is he?"

"Oh," John and Scott shared a bout of laughter. "He's... tied up at the moment."

"You are a genius, John!" Virgil gave his brother a bear-hug.

"Nice to know I'm chopped liver," Scott mock pouted and turned away.

Virgil ignored him. "OK. Let's do it!"

* * *

Jeff and Roger stood outside a solid oak door, united, ready to confront Grace. With grim determination, Jeff raised a hand and knocked on the door.

The door opened and Grace filled the doorway imposingly.

"You don't mind if we come in, do you?" Roger stepped smartly over the threshold, without waiting for an answer.

"Actually," Grace shrilled, "I do! Get out! Now!"

"Tough. We're not going anywhere, are we, Jeff?" Roger sat on her cream coloured leather sofa, cool as you please, and slung his arms over the back.

"But don't worry; we're not staying long," Jeff spat out, disdain clear in his voice. "We just want to know why you did it."

Grace chewed on the skin of her thumb, clearly holding something back.

"Grace?"

"Because he doesn't deserve her!" Grace couldn't hold back her answer. "Because he's stealing my Cinderella and I don't know how to let her go!"

Jeff stared in amazement and wonder at the five foot four person in front of him. His heart went out to her, and even though he couldn't forget what she did, he was beginning to understand why.

"Because she's going to marry your son, move of to that isolated island of yours, and I'll never see her again!" Grace had theatrical tears running down her cheeks. "I know she and I don't see eye to eye on things, especially not in the past two years, but she's still my little Augustina, and I don't know how I'll cope without being able to pop in and visit her!"

Roger sat, his cheek pressed into his palm, clearly unimpressed. "Oh please!" he scoffed, rolling his eyes. "Cut the melodrama and stop the sob story. We know it's just an act! It's very good, coming from an ex-professional actress! You're jealous that Gus has found happiness with someone else; something that's just an illusion to you!" He leapt up off the sofa, and stalked to the door, unable to listen to anything else. "I'm outta here!"

Jeff stayed rooted to the spot. There were still some things he had to say. "Gus is, understandably upset. She's very, very, very upset. And she's also very, very, very angry at you right now. She doesn't want to have anything to do with you.

Listen, I'm going to tell you something for nothing. My son and your daughter are getting married. Whether it's in five hours or five days, this is something they both want, so it will happen. You just have to get used to that."

Tears brimmed in her eyes. "How do I get Gus to forgive me? How do I get her back?"

Jeff smiled sadly as he walked to the front door. "By letting her go. The wedding's at eight in Regent's Park. You should come if you want to let go, but, if you can't..." the unspoken threat lingered in the air, coating the room like a thick, fuzzy blanket. Jeff swallowed and continued his ultimatum. "If you really are jealous, don't come at all."

* * *

"Is it time to go yet?" Virgil fidgeted on the spot, his nerves sizzling and standing on end.

"Not quite," John laughed. "Sit down, relax. You'll have a heart attack if you don't."

"Yeah, sit back, chillax and watch some TV," Scott agreed. "I heard there's something good on."

"If I find out you've roped me into watching an hour of Wacky Races," Virgil threatened lightly, "you'll never see light of day again!"

"It's not Wacky Races. Now sit!" Scott pulled Virgil down next to him.

With a sigh, Virgil sank into the cushions, unwinding. He closed his eyes and breathed deeply... until he sprang up like a tightly coiled spring. "Scott! John! The media!"

"What about the media?" John replied unruffled.

"The media will hunt us down, and our wedding will be splashed out over the newspapers and magazines! I really don't need that! We really don't need that!" Virgil began to pace up and down in front of the TV.

"Virgil, would you mind not moving so much? I can't see the screen. Anyway," Scott said, leaning to the right. "We've taken care of that too."

"We leaked a fake trail out to the media. Basically, we told them the wedding was happening at six forty five, not seven, it was situated outside The Eye, not in Regents Park and the reception was taking place in a hotel instead of the Boathouse. So relax, Virgil. Nothing will go wrong." John reassured.

"Promise?"

"I promise."

* * *

For the second time that day, Virgil stood beside his two best men.

"Bad news, guys." Gordon approached them gingerly, holding his phone like a bomb waiting to explode. "The minister called. He can't make it."

Virgil buried his face in his hand.

"He is sending a supposedly experienced replacement, if it's any consolation."

"No consolation, but thanks."

"Replacement should be here in ten minutes." Gordon smiled sympathetically and sat down.

Gritting his teeth, Virgil mentally ran through a last-minute checklist. "Scott, have you remembered the rings?"

"Yes."

"John, what about the music?"

"Sorted."

Nodding, Virgil slipped a hand into his pocket. The piece of paper he was looking for wasn't there. Trying not to panic, he slid his other hand into the other pocket. No, it wasn't there either.

"You OK, Virg?" Scott asked. "You're kind of fidgety."

"Hmm? Oh, no, everything's fine." Virgil lied; his face paling. Everything was not fine. Everything could not be fine, not when he had forgotten such an integral part of the wedding. He ran a finger round his collar, anxiously loosening his tie.

"Virg, don't lie to me. What's wrong?"

Eyes wide with shock, Virgil turned around and stared impassively into the crystal clear eyes of his brother. "Scott, kill me now."

"I have no intention of killing you, now or ever, but if I have to, I'd like to know why."

"I'm screwed. I've forgotten my vow."

* * *

"Gus, you can open your eyes now."

The scarf that had been tied around her eyes was removed, and Gus squinted in the sunset, letting her eyes adjust to the soft, lilac glow. "It's a tent." She stared at the marquee. "You guys brought me to a very big tent. You dragged me away from my six litre tub of triple chocolate ice cream and self wallowing to bring me to an overgrown tablecloth. Why?!"

"Are you going to stand here moaning," Adam shunted his sister forward. "Or are you going to look inside?"

She narrowed her eyes and glared at each person that stood before her.

"The tent's not going to bite, you know," Tash sighed, giving her another push towards the opening which was folding open in the gently breeze.

Tentatively, Gus poked her head through the flap. "You didn't!"

"We did." Tin-Tin smiled. "Do you like it?"

"I... I don't know what to say, except thank you! You did all of this for me?" Gus was astounded and touched by the thought.

"Gus, hon, this wedding means so much to you and Virgil," Mike began, enveloping his little sister in a hug. "Everyone could see that; Alan, Gordon, John, Scott, Dad and Mr. Tracy. Knowing that, how could we _not _do this for you?"

"You are the best brothers and sisters anyone could ask for; you know that, don't you?" Gus wiped her eyes and gave each person a hug. "Mother's not here, is she?"

Tash shook her head, uncharacteristic harshness carved like ice into her face. "After what she did, I'd be surprised if she had the nerve to show her face anywhere around you."

A weight was released from Gus' shoulders. It was one less thing to be wary about. "Troy? He won't be coming again, will he?"

"Oh, he won't be coming anywhere near here for a while." Adam grinned evilly. "Not unless he knows how to break out of a holding cell and pick the lock on a pair of handcuffs. Now, if you'll excuse us, we have to sit down, so we don't steal the spotlight away from the bride."

After waiting for a moment, Gus made her way down the aisle, slowly, sedately, savouring the moment.

As soon as she reached the end of the aisle, the replacement celebrant began to speak. "After reading my notes, I understand that Virgil and Augustina would like to get married as fast as possible. Then let's get right into it." He pulled out a small book from the pocket on the inside of his jacket. "Today, you become men..."

There were small, dry chuckles in the audience.

"No, sorry, wrong speech. My apologies." The celebrant explained, "I had a coming of age ceremony this afternoon. Just bear with me, I know I have it here. Aha! Today, we are here to witness the union of two souls, etcetera, etcetera, etcetera. I understand there are no readings, so I'll move onto the vows. Virgil?"

"Can we skip straight to the 'I do' part, please?" Virgil squirmed on the spot, trying to wriggle his way out of the predicament he faced.

If the celebrant was puzzled or surprised, he didn't show it. "If you want it that way, sure."

"Actually," Gus cut in. "I'd like to do this. I'd like to say a vow."

"Fire away."

"Virgil, we didn't have an orthodox start to our relationship-"

"You can say that again," Virgil agreed wryly.

"But that just made it more interesting. And I'm glad we met the way we did. It made me realise one thing; no matter how hard I tried to push you away from me, I couldn't stop falling in love with you. You know," Gus laughed nervously. "Before I met you, I never believed in love at first sight. But now, now I do. And it's all because of you."

Virgil ran his hands through his thick, chestnut curls. "This isn't fair. This really is not fair." He turned and faced Scott. "What do I do?"

Scott shrugged. "Talk from your heart, I guess."

"OK," Virgil gulped. "Here goes. Gus, I've never lied to you. I'm not going to start now. I've forgotten my vows. I guess it's a good thing, since the things I was going to say would just sound awkward and stilted.

I read a poem early this afternoon, and as I was reading it, all I could think of was you. And it started off like this." Virgil cleared his throat.

"I carry your heart in my heart,

I am never without it.

It probably explains why stars in heaven can't be kept apart." He paused, clearly trying to concentrate. "I don't exactly remember the middle, but the last two lines had the greatest impact on me.

We are never apart,

I carry your heart; I carry it in my heart."

An audible sniff could be heard, and there was not a dry eye in the marquee.

"Wow. For two people who really want to tie the knot, you sure know how to carry on."

There were more hearty chuckles.

"The rings. Virgil, do you take Augustina to be your lawful wedded wife, for richer, for poorer, in sickness and in health, to love, honour and cherish till death do you part?"

Virgil slid the wedding band over Gus' knuckles. "I do."

"Augustina, do you take Virgil to be your lawful wedded husband, for richer, for poorer, in sickness and in health, to love, honour and cherish till death do you part?"

"I do." Gus slipped the band onto Virgil's finger.

"I now pronounce you husband and wife. You may now kiss the bride."

* * *

John tapped his spoon on the side of his glass, and the Boathouse silenced. He pushed his chair back, nodded at Scott, and stood up.

"Excuse me, but if we could just have your attention for a few minutes," John called out.

"First of all," Scott continued. "We'd like to thank you all for coming at such short notice. Thank you to the bridesmaids, who look absolutely stunning. And to Gus, you are radiant and glowing. And, Virgil, thank you for the gift of the paperclip. I honestly don't know how I would have survived without it.

For those of you wondering why there are two best men standing here, it's quite simple. Virgil wanted to appoint one really, really good best man for the occasion, but sadly, he couldn't find one. So he chose two barely competent older brothers instead."

There was a pause, and the two brothers waited for the laughter to die down.

"We've known Virgil since the day he was born." John picked up where Scott trailed off. "And it was a real honour for him to ask us to be his best men. And then it was a real fright. I thought we'd have to fight off angry in-laws.

After meeting with his in-laws, who are very charming and pleasant, I was certain that we would not have to fight and brawl over this. I was relieved. And then I had a long talk with Scott, and we came to an agreement. We were stumped about the speech. How could we uncover the most memorable episodes of the groom's dissolute life before his marriage in under ten minutes?"

"It wasn't easy, you know. We have twenty five years of recollections with Virg, and we didn't know which one to use. So we stuck to the two best ones."

"We could tell you about the time Virgil was caught driving under the influence of cough medicine." John added. "But we won't. Well, not today anyway. The time he decided to redecorate in college was much more amusing."

Beside them, Virgil groaned. "Not redecorating. Anything but redecorating. It was painful! I burst an ear drum! I got paint in my eye!"

Scott ignored him. "John's right; Virgil's DIY to redecorating is very amusing.

Virgil was twenty, young, in college and a bit of a pyromaniac. He had saved up enough cash to buy his first apartment. Needless to say, it wasn't in a great condition, and it didn't have the 'homely' feel to it, with its Superman wallpaper and pokey armchair.

Virgil didn't like that. Things would change in that flat. Being the gifted artist that he is, the first thing he wanted to do was redecorate. But, he had college too, and had to take the lazy way out of painting.

To do that, he bought a tin of paint... and a firecracker with a very short fuse.

I think you can guess what happened next. Virgil took his paint can home, unscrewed the lid, stuck his firecracker in the paint, lit the fuse and ran for the door.

But, things would not go well after that. Virgil turned the door knob, only to have it fall out into his palm. He was effectively locked in. And then the fuse blew. So, as well as decorating his apartment, Virgil managed to coat himself in a thick layer of cornflour blue. From that day forward, Virgil has never left a firecracker and a can of paint in the same room."

The laughter bounced around the Boathouse. Gordon was nearly collapsing off his chair and Alan had to wipe tears of laughter away from his cheeks. Even Virgil was smiling as an embarrassed blush crept up his face.

"We have more," John offered, grinning widely. "If you're interested."

The cheers and laughter from the crowd were enough.

"I'm sorry to have to say this, but Virgil has been having a love affair between the time of his proposal, and his wedding day. And it hasn't been with one; it's been with four."

There were gasps, and Gus shot Virgil a murderous glance.

"It started off with Stella. After that, he moved onto Sherry. Once he was through with Sherry, he had a complete change of direction, and moved to Jack Daniels." John had to swallow his laughter as realisation dawned on everyone. "Finally, he discarded Jack, and moved onto Bud. Lucky for Bud, he's remained true to the brew. But between his love affair with Stella-Sherry-Jack-Bud, Virgil never once missed a date with Gus, and I think that shows the amount of love and affection he has for the amazing woman he's married. I am honoured to ask you to raise your glasses for the newlyweds, Virgil and Gus. May you have many happy times together and smooth sailing all the way."

"To Virgil and Gus."

Roger stood up, and waited for a few moments as everyone sipped at their drink.

"Wow," he said. "I can't compete with that speech. So I'll keep mine short and sweet.

As her father, I've always felt the need to hold a shotgun in my hand when Gus introduces us to her boyfriend, just to make sure he treats her right. But when I met Virgil, I knew I could lock that gun away. I knew he knew to treat her right.

He is smart, loyal, loving, caring and compassionate, everything my daughter is, and everything she admires. It's not hard to see why you agreed to marry Virgil. And it's not hard to see why he wanted to ask you to marry him.

Virgil, I couldn't ask for a better man to marry my little girl. I'm proud to call you my son-in-law, and I'm happy to call you and your family a part of my family too."

From his seat, Jeff nodded and smiled gratefully, although there was a touch of sadness to his smile. 'Oh Luc,' he thought. 'Look at our family. Married by one, yet extended by many.'

**AN: OK, this chapter is very, very, very late. I apologize for that, but nearly getting run over by a car while skateboarding tends to leave a girl with over twenty bruises and a sprained wrist. You guys know what I'm talking about, right? Anyway, it took a few days for the pain and swelling to subside before I could begin to type this chapter up.**

**I know there is another story coming up, but I'm not sure when I can post it, since my brother wants his laptop back for Uni. Should be soon, though. Well, I hope it's soon. **

**And please review this. I crave to know your thoughts.**

**Until next time,**

**KatZen ;)**


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